As you know I have abundant amounts of spare time on my paws, so I thought I would take the time to help you blog. You seem quite busy these days, I just wanna help out. I know, I know, everyday you leave me a to-do list, but I am lazy and easily distracted. Plus the washer is broken so I can't do the laundry. So if there is space on the couch for me to scrunch my little body onto, then so be it. That is where I have to be. Chores, smores. Mmmmm smores. Yummy. You think I can't have chocolate, but I could go for a smores. Marshmallow-y goodness. Last week I ate a whole Snickers bar and I am here to write about. So what of your theory about chocolate being the death of me? ......see what I am saying about getting distracted. Anyways, back to my other favorite habit, aside from dumpster diving, sleeping. Napping. Snoozing. You name it, I do it. I know you leave those damned pillows to keep me off. But I am a regal beagle so I swiftly push them out of my way. I need the time to sleep comfortably and not have it be taken up by tasks on your list. Today is an exception, I wanted to lend my four paws to your blogging effort. Yes, its a dog life. But someone has to live it. And that someone is me.
As I was saying, this letter is to address my side of the story. First, please just accept and move on, but I cannot help peeing in the house. It is beyond my control. I become inconsolably sad and anxious. Isn't it better then when you first got me though? C'mon give that to me. I know you had to drag me to the doctor and spends lots of money, but the secret is that it is a psychological thing. He he he, I kept that a secret huh? I can't promise not stop, it is so not in my Ginger personality. It goes with my desire to hunt down every squirrel who dares cross my path, seek out long forgotten and buried chicken bones, and to snore like a freight train. That is who I am, all Ginger all the time. Love me, love my pee.
Lets also clarify. I do like Daddy better. It's the dogs honest truth. Sorry, again that is the way it is. If we want to get all psycho-babble on me, at my last house the man was the only nice one. He didn't ignore me like the other three did. So now I have an affinity for men. What can I say? I am just that kind of girl. You know girls like that. Plus, I know you like him too. I must have good taste. Right? Was that a good sob story? My cute doe eyes help, don't they? I know how to work you.
Next, do not touch my paws. When you take your damn towel to them and I yelp and pull away, isn't it clear? I don't like it. Period. I will get to them myself. I will clean those suckers in my mouth, while sitting on the couch. What's the deal?
Another thing, my name is Ginger. One word, six letters. It is not the Ging, Ge-ga, Gu-gu, Ginger Beans, Dirty Paws, Pumpkin, Poo-poo cakes, or Lady Bug. My name is Ginger and I am putting my paw down about that.
So, in conclusion, please keep the cookies coming. I always say, the roar the rerrier. Which translates roughly to 10 cookies per day. If not more. Keep 'em coming.
Oh I almost forgot. I was pawing through your Neiman Marcus Book last night and saw some cashmere dog sweaters. I am a medium. Christmas is in 37 days. I'm just saying.....
Hope this clears up my Ginger ways. I am a stubborn beagle, maybe I am an Aries too. I know you get that. At least we all know now.
Labels: Everyday Life
Reat Rob Ringer...I must say.
I think this blogger has an unhealthy attachment to men and dog biscuits.
She also needs to understand that this country is a melting pot of all sorts of people and dogs, not just beagles.
"Another thing, my name is Ginger. One word, six letters. It is not the Ging, Ge-ga, Gu-gu, Ginger Beans, Dirty Paws, Pumpkin, Poo-poo cakes, or Lady Bug. My name is Ginger and I am putting my paw down about that."
My dog could have written that about her name, Lola.
I realized I do it all the time and wondered if it ever annoyed her!
The above comment was written about the dog, not about E.B. who I find to be the sweetest piece of sweetness this side of the Rio Grande.