I attended a goodbye dinner for a friend with her friends, whom I don't really know. As an aside a goodbye dinner is such a terribly horrible thing to say, it really implies things that are sad and lonely. I prefer to think of it as the camp song went, "this is goodnight and not goodbye." But she is leaving town and so it is a congratulations for moving on, even if on is O-town. Okay my moving on. So, I don't know these girls but that does not stop me, it just means these words are not coming from an ill intent place, but just as an outsider invited to dine in. More so I cannot judge their sense of humor or the apparent fact that they have none.
Dinner arrived and as all plates were laid down we noticed she was missing hers. Forks raised not wanting to be rude someone asked what she ordered. Nothing. Sure, fine. Well not really - I have always hated those people. You knew you were going to a dinner, how can you not be hungry. Whatever their deal not mine. I enjoy company, food, and dining out too much to pass that up. Oh but she continued with a dead pan face, she does not eat after five. I swore on my Gucci kitten heels that she was kidding. It was her way of poking fun at the poor service. Those who were her friends seemed to realize not. "Aren't you at work at 5?" And in stride, without breaking a smile, because I don't think she smiles, she says, "Yes, I eat at work, so I can avoid eating after five." She was not kidding. This is bizarre and very uncomfortable as I stab my spicy chicken. Well not that uncomfortable because I don't really care and the chicken was fantastic. These are her issues which run DEEP. There are diets, weight management, healthy eating, exercise, allergies and then there is ridiculous. She had crossed ridiculous a quarter mile ago. How can you enjoy life with those rules and attitudes? This is someone who needs the rules to live by, this seemed obvious. Which means she was not enjoying. She was not living. She had a rule that she was supposed to follow or else. Or else what? Nothing. Take a bite and celebrate your friends and their company and their success. Five is for the eighty plus crowd or the insane. I judged her to be about 26. Keeping it in check at that age was scary. The food I ate was EXCELLENT. A edgy nuevo Vietnamese place with impeccable design and a chef. She was missing out. On the spices, aromas, tastes and flavors. Of what it means to be full and happy. What it is to savor and crave. These are normal and wonderfully delectable natural emotions and ideas. They show you what alive is. How to breathe, grow, and learn. They make up our world. Sitting with friends over food, sampling on small plates, taking sips of a French red, agonizing over too many options on the menu. That is socializing. It bonds you to people and to the earth. To the chef and her world and you get glimpses of heaven. This is why we eat out - to take in all of these emotions, experience new ideas and sensations, and to spend quality time with our friends and family across a dimly lit table. That is how memories are made and when special moments are shared. It is life. Her deadpan face was an absence of any of this and apparently not just some poor joke about her delayed entree. Her face lacked those emotions. Her face knew no such joy. Her face was probably hunger.
That is seriously the dumbest thing I have heard all week. Doesn't eat after five? Is that five local time, or eastern time? What if she is in Denver, does she only eat until 3:00, but then again after 10:00?
On the plus side, she probably saves tons by eating the early bird special...
It is retarded. She looked miserable and I am sure we all know that she is stick thin skinny.
There are some people who feel like food is the enemy. I for one probably take too much solace in food but those are my issues ;) But for these people, making rules and then sticking to them gives them some control in their lives. You are right to feel sad they are missing out of what food can mean because she is obviously lacking the ability to grasp that. As for the lack of sense of humor on all their parts? That's just inexcusable.
I'm sorry I lost you at "Gucci kitten heels" - do tell! ;)
wow, that's just insane! okay, so i can SEE trying to tell yourself, maybe for diet purposes, no "snacking" after dinner. okay and that is hard to follow. but this? this is ridonkulous!
on an aside- do you ever wonder, how some of our closest friends, can be friends with people that we just see not a thing in common with? the girl whose goodbye dinner it was right?, i assume you're close with her. so isn't it baffling sometimes when you meet friends of friends who just seem so totally out there? and dont you wonder, how can one of my best friends be ... so close with this crazy who doesn't eat after 5?! i wonder about that stuff sometimes!
Well, I worked with someone a few years ago who pulled some similar no-lunch nonsense and then that afternoon was pigging out on other people's leftover garbage in the break room.
It was sorta obvious that she was dead broke, so I came up with this retarded plan to "help."
My hubby at the time was launching a new menu at a restaurant, so I had her come for a "tasting," you know, appealing to her "pickiness," 'cause I just felt bad for her.
She was a nasty, complaining bitch the entire time. You have no idea how hard it was for me to not say, "You stupid, rude whore, stop disrespecting my man, we do not give a fuck about your broke-ass opinion."
It just totally backfired. Yikes.
Okay, for the record, I think all people who refuse to eat any food after a certain time (be it 5pm or 7pm or any other number) along with people who don't eat fish (because tuna and shrimp taste exactly the same, not) should all be sent to a far away island. Period. Can you tell I'm a die hard foodie?
I think you should have pinned the bitch down and force fed her some creme brulee.
Definately a problem there...does she go to bed at 7pm too? This 5pm rule has to be doing all sorts of crazy damage to her body.
Sweet Jesus! That's insane. And by 'insane', I mean 'absolutely ridiculous and a huge waste of energy/time/life'. I'm not sure why I'm reacting so strongly to this, maybe it's because I'm a devout follower to the idea 'it's better to be happy and full than skinny and miserable... and freaking hungry'.
MB: I can see having to lay down rules for yourself and knowing your own limits. But sometimes maybe let the reigns out a little and see what happiness is. That or invest in a good shrink and jar of Prozac.
Bre: they came to me a Christmas ago at Saks and I heart them. It took a little poking around to find them - but of course e-bay now has everything - these are them in a different color http://cgi.ebay.com/BNWT-Gucci-Horsebit-Suede-Leather-Sz-5-5-Shoes-Pumps_W0QQitemZ330110815931QQihZ014QQcategoryZ63889QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem
brookem - it was amazing because she is a good friend and the other girls could not have been farther from friends i would have chosen.
rachel - people can be funny truly effed up but funny
PJ - well you know what I am going to say. But that is what makes the world go round.
Ruby - you just got to otherwise by 9 you (and by you I mean me) are hungry again and would accidentally eat something and the world as we know it would stop spinning on its axis.
Brandy - Hell yeah.
As a hard core foodie I feel so sad for her... she's missing out on so much by fearing a woman's body (as opposed to a ten year old girls body).
I'm not talking about setting limits for yourself with occasional indulgence. That's healthy. I'm talking about mental/eating disorders which it sounds like this girl has in my opinion. I grew up with a family member having anorexia and she made up seemingly stupid rules like no eating in front of people, no touching the fork to her teeth, no eating past a certain time etc, etc because she felt like she had no power over any thing else in her life. I'm not defending this new girl you met in any way, I'm just throwing out there the possibility that maybe she is certifiably crazy.
And I agree with brookem- I've met friends of friends that really make me wonder about my friends to begin with. ;)
Wow, I have been on a booty load of diets and eating plans in my life but not one time did that stop me from celebrating with friends. That's just silly, and sad.
Desiree - you are right she must have fear
MB - I think that goes along with your point as well. That she is afraid of losing control. I totally see your point, as in a way for her to maintain control. Though my original diagnosis stands - she needs help.
JR - that really is the 2nd point, that she does not know how to enjoy and have a good time with friends. Her life is consumed by the restrictions. Again going back to much needed help.
well, i guess you all didn't have to pitch in for her dinner! hee hee
she's a nut, and must enjoy the attention. obviously she has hang ups!!!
i can't hang out with peeps that don't eat.