I will miss this summer and I will miss a great many things about summer, in general. It was really my first summer with Magoo. We entertained with BBQ's and friends. We traveled to Vermont to experience their summer, oh so wonderful and not so humid. There was the beach, bathing suits and sun burns. Flip-flops, tank tops and dresses. Thunderstorms (the serious kind, we do it right here) and sunshine (ditto).
Yet, for the first time in as long as I can remember, I look forward to the fall. I want it to get here bad. The last time I remember looking forward to fall was in junior high. My best friend, AliQ, and I spent hours flipping through Seventeen magazine studying the latest fall "fashions". We were looking to see what we needed to buy at 5-7-9 or Burdines, to be worn on the first day of school. Make that the first week of school. You needed enough clothes to make it through a whole five days. I remember she even wrote me a letter one summer, while I was away, and let me know that vests were back in and her mom just bought her one. I wanted one of those desperately and a black hat, remember this was 1992.
For now I look forward to the fall for different reasons. Cleary it is no longer about school starting. In Florida the seasons do not change per se, but there is a difference. We are off Hurricane Watch. The humidity is not mind blowing stifling. Football season has started. I usually regret the start of fall and miss all the things I did not get to do during the summer. It is October and I do not have the tan I wanted (you don't usually go to the beach much after that as a native Floridian). This year, that sentiment is not there. I look forward to gords, pumpkins, tweeds, closed toed flats and cooler crisper temps. Obviously there are no leave changes, fires or even sweaters yet. After all, it is still 87 degrees. But in our hearts it is fall and I am excited. Starbucks and Publix are offering the trappings of fall, in the form of gingerbread lattes and imported Northern leaves shaped into wreaths. As soon as it turns October, Magoo and I are getting pumpkins to carve. I am also secretly purchasing all the Halloween decorations splayed across the CVS. I want to decorate the house. Make it fall festive. Even if we are still in shorts and tees.
I think the longing I feel for the fall is a need to push all the unease from the past few months away. If it means a change of seasons and a new wardrobe, then that seems easy enough. I want to get past the bickering and discussions. We cannot even have sex without getting into a conversation. I want to enjoy my job again or even find a new one. The summer meant fruitless searches and bad billing. I want to REALLY lose those ten pounds. I am on my way, but I am frustrated and want to see instant results. I want to be more comfortable and happy. All of those factors contribute, plus more good, truly good friends here and more free time to enjoy them. I am seriously taking steps towards those goals. Plus, recognizing them is the first step, right? I think I am on the way. I sure know that fall is on the way.
Labels: Perspective
