I wrote thinking about those girls, from my past and wondered where they were. Then I got picked up over here , and a ton of comments . I spent time thinking about it and I realized I faced a modern day mean girl dilemma; are the associates in the offices next to mine just grown versions of the mean girls? I don't think so, but in a law cliche, the verdict is still out. The Nina's and Lisa's of the world were evil. They manipulated and plotted so that they looked good and made you feel bad. Real bad. Laughing about it the entire time. They pranked called and some how made you always feel like a sucker. I was left holding a phone and feeling like an ass, when in reality they were.
They were smart in that they understood what they were doing and how to execute. But I don't know if they were savvy. I think what differentiates them from aggressive people is the savvy. And I think what you find at a law firm, for the most part, is savvy. People doing what they can to get ahead, at what ever cost. It is not meant to hurt you, unless you are in the way. But it is not a direct attack. It is simply because you stand on their path to greatness. You can spot them as they never look at you, just through you in an attempt to get by you and to figure out how to do it best. And they just don't care. Their time, their ideas, and their shit is not only more important than yours but somehow they have made it not stink. They just push on and up. With no intent other than to make them number one. Don't be fooled they don't mean well though. They are still mean people. I guess that is the difference between an intent to harm you and just plain indifference. Again, I'll use the law, but it is the difference between first and second degree murder. How I remember that second degree murder is a depraved indifference to the value of human life, is totally beyond me. I can't even remember Magoo's phone number.
But the aggressive people out there have a goal and go after it. They may work hard or they may work smart. The mean girls just worked mean. They may have morphed into those aggressive types, but I think of them to be different creatures. Evil and ugly, but different. Which may mean my answer is no, they are not those kinds of mean girls.
Then I think. Does it freaking matter? They are all ill perceived, at least to me. And to most, as you all have so wonderfully pointed out. Making excellent calls about unhappy people and wrinkles. So who the hell cares what kind of mean they are? They are all people I can't handle and the reason just does not matter. I try to avoid acting like or associating with either breed. Of course the problem is they may be my associates. But it does not matter how you brand it, they are ick people. Unhappy with some extent of their life or just built with the aggressive, competitive, get-ahead gene. Either way they are not meant to be someone I associate with, at least not beyond the coffee room or Holiday party. I long ago moved away from Nina and Lisa. I was in a sorority and found the clump of people who had no tolerance for the crap. The other 40 some odd girls could have their Greek letters. There is no room for it. Really there is no need for it.
I went to law school and I litigate, so they are everywhere, especially in these corridors. But the bottom line is I cannot STAND people like that. Get over yourself and get a grip on being mean or meaning to be. Live a little and laugh a lot. Enjoy. That is, enjoy your time as a happy fun loving person. Breathe. You will see how much energy was wasted on the negative and the hateful. Being mean may be fun, but it is a crack cocaine high. One that lasts for a brief moment, is fabricated and highly dangerous. Not the natural high from the wind in our hair. Go out and enjoy that life and stop taking the time to get ahead or to hurt another. Enjoy your time enjoying.
So if they want to continue with it. Go ahead. I want no part in it. I am out enjoying my life, laughing at you, not with you, and kicking ass but not in the way that it hurts anyone, just in the way that it will make my glutes look killer.
I just feel bad for people like that; they have to be miserable to act that way, and we know they are missing out on the sweeter side of life.
Good for you for getting to the ponit where you realize you are above that. Sometimes I think I'm there. Other times, I imagine me slashing their tires.
These mean girls/women (ever wonder why there's such a dichotomy with girls and guys in this scenario?- maybe guys are just bullies, I don't know) may feel cool and good and happy in the moment, but like Ally said, they have to be miserable, cold, ugly people to do the things they do.
That is exactly why I cannot join a firm. I'll just keep my nice, safe government lawyer job. But kudos to you for being (willing and) able to navigate those waters!
Women like that ruin it for most of us. It's sad they can't see they're not getting ahead but rather, putting everyone behind. You ought to be proud of yourself for rising above it rather than joining in. I think a lot of people have a hard time resisting. Being mean is the easy way out, really.
That type of woman makes me angry and sad at the same time. Angry because they're the type of cold manipulative witches that folks are learning to expect. And that's not good. Sad because I'm finally at the point where I realize that they're pathetic!
I don't even think they realize how miserable they are. They are trained or disposed to the behavior. Now if they stopped and looked around, maybe they would come to.
But it is terribly hard when they create a standard and we are expected to live up to it. I don't want to play the game if those are the rules I have to play by. Yet I think in the end, I win out. I am happier and don't have the guilt from acting in that way. Plus I am a strong supporter of karma.
the mean girls sound like heartless stupid girls! such drama and so miserable. the thing is eb you have it figured out and they don't. pity them! and good for you for rising above.