April 02, 2007

This will be streaming consciousness of a total collection of ideas and thoughts over the past 72 hours or so. With Passover hours from now I will give you a pass through of a weekend that whirled by but felt like an eon ago. Where was Friday? I swear it was seven months ago - at least it feels that way sitting here back at the desk mid-Monday. I was able to bolt early on Friday afternoon owing to the move. But I didn't do any moving - I sat in traffic heading Northwest on the mish mash of Veterans, Memorial and 60. Who does that? I felt like a suburbanite sitting there on an early Friday afternoon. Trying my best to get home. But I don't live there and it is ironic that sitting in traffic heading away from my new home made me feel suburbany. I stand by my conviction that we live in the city. Still. I was headed to a condo too - old friends, old co-workers. It was warm and comforting and an hour spent catching up before I had to turn around and change. This time drinks and dinner with Tom's old friends. First we did a tour of the homes. Seems like there is a lot of movement these days. I am more than thrilled with ours and think we are the winners. Though I could be biased.

At dinner with mixed company I become paranoid and self conscious. Why do I need a stranger's approval? Why do I want him to relay that Tom has a girl and she is cute? Why do I need that validation? In a few short hours, far too few if we are counting, we are moving up and out. Into our home. While it has been us this is a move, really it is one. What about this does not translate into security? Or insecurity? As I watch him move and sing and grow careless with strangers. Who is this? And who am I that jealousy can take over so easily? I am not ashamed of jealousy - I think it is a natural human emotion. It helps ideas to register and become a barometer. I just think it needs to be checked. So where did mine come from? As I lay on the carpet that night in tears I had no answers. I can blame wine, whine, and sleep deprivation. But I won't. Despite the airs of confidences, I am just as insecure and crazy as the next one. It comes in waves and never truly leaves you. I felt much more insecure in my life and have had some reasons to. There are residuals of that. Plus the generals we all deal with as women, weight, hair, food in our teeth and boogers in our noses and as people who intereact. The truth is it never goes away - you just have to learn to manage, control, and gain perspective from it. And sometimes admit you are wrong.

Saturday came too early at 6 am we were up waiting for movers who did not show until 10. But we were moved by noon. Which still meant we had HOURS to go of unpacking and shopping. A little Bed, Bath and Beyond, if we had time. And we did. At least we made time as we trekked up and down Dale Mabry spending more money. But we needed sheets for our bigger bed. We needed to insure they were on there as we knew we would crash. Long hours, long day and the GATORS. We also knew we needed to be showered and out of the house by 7 to get parking and navigate the crowds. Cherrys or Hawks or whatever you call the largest gathering of Gators outside of Gainesville is packed. Somehow we managed to VIP it up the stairs with a handful of others. Forgetting that stair climbing, no underwear and a dress are a bad idea but not really caring as my clothes were packed. Our own bathroom with a screen across from the porcelain. Who knows. But I would not have survived the crowds or the cheering. I can handle Magoo's claps but that was about it. Until the end and the chorus of "It's Great's..." as we exited with two minutes to go and an assurance that the Gators will be repeating. We got home to a scared and tired Ginger. She is having difficulty adjusting - she may be more moody than I. It figures.

I spent Sunday alone. I pushed, pulled, unpacked and cleaned - my feet mostly and the constant dirt kept them in a constant Britney Spears state. We got cable and internet - wireless throughout. I know what heaven may be now. The cable guy could not stop gushing about how much he enjoyed our digs. I would have been creeped out - but something was charming and sweet. So I reveled in it and agreed. So did Magoo when he came from work (yeah on a Sunday you don't have to tell us that it sucks). We do love it. Something about a new place makes you want to do new things, start new traditions. So I decided a bath was the way to go. Trying hard to push aside my bathing fears I sat for about 20 minutes. Until it grossed me out. And really until the glass of wine was done. Feeling loopy and relaxed my tired body sat with a towel, our new cable and wireless and unwound.


Blogger brookem said:

oh i like your recap. and i hope you have many, many happy days (with less running around and more relaxation) in the days to come.

5:11 PM 

Blogger Bre said:

New traditions sound like just the ticket! It baffles me that you could only do 20 minutes in the tub. I think I could do 20 hours without batting an eye!

5:21 PM 

Blogger brandy said:

Yeah, I'm more with Bre on the bath thing. If I think about it logically, (showers are much cleaner) I'm sure it would gross me out, but I refuse to. As for the Gator win tonight, congratulations. I may have lost sole first place standing, but I suspect to a true fan like your man, a Gator loss would have been more upsetting!

10:49 PM 

Blogger JustRun said:

What a recap! No wonder it sounds like a blur. As for the bath thing, I really have to be in the mood. Otherwise, I start thinking about it logically and we all know logic has no place in relaxation.

6:34 AM 

Blogger magnetbabe said:

Oooh I'm soooo jealous of your fancy new house and all your cool new stuff to go inside! But that's a normal human emotion, right? :P

10:19 AM 

Blogger Mel said:

I like the idea of new traditions.

I woke up at 3:30 last night wanting a bath but decided it would take more energy than I had......Baths are nice as long as you can shower after. I hate the idea of sitting in a huge puddle filled with body dirt...

11:31 AM 

Blogger e.b. said:

brookem - today was noticeably less hectic. though i know this weekend will be again. baby steps. baby steps.

bre- it is the sitting in dirty water and a dirty tub. i was the first to use it since it had been installed and it creeped me out.

brandy - this town is gator crazed - everywhere i turn there is blue and orange.

jr- you got it. i usually think about it too much but my body literally ached right down to my big toe. so it seemed (seemed being ket) like a good idea.

mb - like i said i think jealousy is normal and human. we all have something we envy in another person.

mel - without a doubt - i HAD to shower and it had to be a cold shower, i had enough of sitting in warm water.

1:34 PM 

Blogger Ally said:

Is Magoo an attorney too? I'm glad you're all moved in!

8:51 PM 

Blogger e.b. said:

He is and he works with taxes so this is a busy time for him.

6:18 AM 

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