If you want a cure for the whines and non-wintery blues an easy solution is to drown yourself. I have done it successfully over the past two months and have not been able to hold me head above water long enough to catch my breath. I have been a crazed soul. I swore I was feeling blah and then turned around sixty days later and could no longer remember the passing days of February and March. Blah turned into a whirl. I can’t say a breeze because that implies ease and something like porches and ice tea. There was none of that. There was chaos, depression and anxiety. There was stress, happiness and excitement. There was anger, frustration and exhaustion. Pick an emotion and I had it. We bought a house. Which makes two. A house and condo. So now we carry two mortgages and I consider myself a land lord. Well hopefully one as we try desperately to rent it out. Which is stressful, and annoying and entertaining, with more stories to come. But something I have complete faith in. Until I am proven wrong. But lets just assume that won't happen here. Will ya?
I have to hope to god that I make a good landlord, in that not a thing goes wrong and I silently cash those checks every month. Please please please let that be the case. Because in the two years I have lived there, I have not had as much as a toilet over flow, and I know how to over flow a toilet. I count not the leak, because that was external. So let us continue on this wonderfully perfect home ownership streak. At least so long as a nice unassuming renter squats there.
Well this also means we moved. In one month's time. We packed up and moved. Organizing and arranging such was for lack of a better word, awesome. In the way the bible describes awesome, like awe inspiring. Or really really crappy. You take your pick. I am not going to bore you with brown boxes, packing tap, and sweaty men, who are set to arrive this weekend. No not those kind of sweaty mean either. But this takes time and effort and infinite patience. None of which I actually own or come close to possessing on a good day. So I become Glinda the not so friendly totally evil maniacal I hate you so very much bitch. Which is exactly what Magoo wants when he is making big purchases and deciding things, like moving places with people. I mean who does not want to live with such a princess? Which again made our whole world a wonderfully peaceful candy cane filled joy.
I got a new job. Yeah because changing addresses and zip codes was not enough for us all. That in between all this I was on a mad pace to interview in any law firm that showed me some leg or cleavage. Because I was a whore. And I would’ve accepted any one of these jobs even if they paid me $9.73 per hour and asked me to pay for my computer usage time, which you know is a lot. Because I needed to get the HELL OUT OF DODGE. That was a burning building and I was not going to be taken down with it. Not when I was made to feel so incompetent for too long. Not worth it. Not worth it at all. I knew it and had known for a long long time. But the gun was loaded so I was at point blank. It just so happened to be when I bought a house and moved. Yeah so timing is not everything. But it sure feels good to be leaving this address. The new one is scary and anxiery filled, again more about that later, but rest assured it was the right and proper decision.
Lets also throw in the dentist. Whom I love. Or love to hate. Every ounce of my being is consumed with anxiety over my visits. And there were plenty of visits leaving my wallet infinitely lighter, so there was plenty of anxiety. Plus a solid near week of no food or conversation, following the gum surgery. While not anxiety per se it was stressful and tiring none the less, as eating and talking are pretty much by existence. Which was impressive during these days when my anxiety was devoted to prepping and waiting for potential employers to call me back and tell me they love me. Or in reality, not. Since I went on 76 interviews before I found the one. And when all my remaining energy has actually been spent renewing insurance policies, paying taxes, finding a renter, packing clothes and ordering movers. So that does not leave a lot of spare time to fully loathe the dentist in the proper way that he deserves. But I did. I managed to squeeze it in while cursing under my breath how much I despise moving and what a *(!#*($U@# my boss is. Not that I don’t curse, but the use of the expletive is necessary as words can’t adequately describe my emotions. Which is impressive as I am expressive as well. It is just that bad. Take my word. Like I said, not too terribly sad to say good bye.
That’s all. Not really. But that is all I have time to think about and detail. We all know that is not all there is in life. There are vet appointments, and manicures, there is time to exercise and go to the grocery store. Birthday parties. Anniversaries. Yoga, tennis games, manicures and dog walking. Friendships. Families. Phone calls. Oil changes. E-mails. Paying your bills. Making dinner, sex and sleep. There is life. So that is not all, it is just the tip of the ice berg and the major giant sized glaciers that were ramming themselves into my life making me realize that I had no such animal as winter blues. And making me recognize that this is truly what life is. Especially because it is now spring and I look forward to the renewal and new life. It means wonderful pastel colors, flowers, and sunshine. The weather is perfect here and there is so much good to look forward to. So much to dig and plant. We will grow in this new house and I will thrive at my new job. I would disgust you with the story of my new gums. But know that there is growth there as well. It is the time for renewal and changes. Every one of them will be good and positive. It is time to stick your toes in the grass, dream, and marvel at what life gives you. It is time for porches and ice tea. Finally. Mine will have bourbon, because you know me and that's what I do. Because some things never change, no matter the zip code. But please just bear with me as I may not be around as much - anxiety, moving, and bourbon will do that to you.
Labels: Breathing, Everyday Life
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Accidentally Me said:
phew...I got tired just reading that!!!
That is one heck of two months, congrats on all the positive stuff, and good luck renting the condo!- 8:34 PM
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Runner Girl FL said:
Congrats on the house and good luck at the job. I seem to work best with all the crazy projects at once too. I wish I knew why.
- 5:02 AM
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JustRun said:
Whew! Congratulations on all the new!
It does seem to all happen at once like that, doesn't it?- 5:47 AM
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anne said:
Thanks for all the well wishes.
It seems that writing about it makes it happen. We have a renter!- 6:45 AM
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Pam said:
Congrats on the new house and finding a renter. Moving IS stressful and the fact that you've been looking for a new job too...I bet you really are stressed (especially when you add in the dentist..ick!). I hope things calm down for you soon.
- 7:14 AM
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Ally said:
Wow. That's a lot of change, but it all sounds positive. I want more details on the job stuff. Did you dramatically quit? I've always thought it would be fun to wait until someone snaps at me and then just say "I quit" so that person feels horrible. Anyway, congratulations on the new job and home!
- 7:27 AM
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Cute Jewess said:
Wow, well at least it sounds like all good stuff. Yes, even the dentist. That means you're taking care of yourself! A house!! That's almost too much for my Manhattan-living self to fathom!
- 11:01 AM
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anne said:
Pam - as my sister said, I am on the down slope of the roller coaster at this point. Thankfully.
Ally - I dreamed of the same. Don't we all? Or even leaving a note on the receptionist's desk that they could find in the morning. But I did it the normal, if not punkish way, by discussing a case with my boss and adding in at the end that I had something else to tell him - which was I was giving notice. Nice.
CJ - it is almost too much for me too - but there is something wonderful about houses, with yards and square feet. It will be good.- 11:06 AM
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megabrooke said:
Congrats again on the house. And the new job. And all the new positive things to come! You deserve it.
- 12:55 PM
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Natalie said:
With all that going on, I'm surprised you've posted as much as you have! You seem to have handled everything beautifully. You deserve a little more bourbon in your iced tea. Hell, why not make it a mint julep?
- 7:35 AM
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said:
Can we get a pic of the new teeth?
I want veneers sososososososo bad, but theyt're kinda expensive. :(- 9:19 AM
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anne said:
These are just new gums and I have been quite happy to show them off. It is A-MAZING that they can just stick 'em on. I will see about a pic....
- 12:05 PM
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Hamza matar said:
lovely page,
- 12:59 AM
